Tara's Thoughts...

After writing in my journal this evening, I decided to open a few of my old journals and read what I had written around this time in the past. I almost didn’t open up my childhood journal, but as I was about to close my drawer, something made me grab it.

I opened to September 26, 1997.

At 12 years old I wrote an entry about my friend Ricky’s wake that I had attended earlier that evening. Ricky was my middle school classmate that had committed suicide a week earlier.

He was the same age as me.  

His funeral was the first that I had attended, and to this day I can remember the sadness that loomed over the church during his homegoing celebration. In fact, it was no celebration. A 12-year-old child had just taken his own life, what could we celebrate?

In a split-second, the enemy stole his potential.

No one knows why Ricky took his life. There were rumors going around, but none will change the fact that he’s no longer here. 

We can’t imagine a 12-year-old facing issues that would push him to suicide, yet today this is still happening. This reminds me that we must pour into the youth and remind them that God loves them and has a plan for their life!

In another entry from September 21, 2009, I praised God for giving me a relevant word during my bible study that evening: Isaiah 43 & 44:1-5. 

The key verses that stood out to me  as I reread the above scriptures were Isaiah 43:1-2 (NIV): 

 ¹ But now, this is what the LORD says— 
   he who created you, Jacob, 
   he who formed you, Israel: 
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; 
   I have summoned you by name; you are mine. 
² When you pass through the waters, 
   I will be with you; 
and when you pass through the rivers, 
   they will not sweep over you. 
When you walk through the fire, 
   you will not be burned; 
   the flames will not set you ablaze.

God has redeemed us and called us by name! If only Ricky had known this when he sat alone in his room contemplating suicide. If only he had known that whatever fires were burning around him would not have set him ablaze!

Today, God has confirmed my decision to work with the two youth ministries at my church. He has shown me that I must serve him in a new way and remind these children that God who has formed them in their mother’s womb will help them in times of trouble (Isaiah 44:2). I pray I never have to sit through the funeral of another child lost to the world. I pray God does a new thing and gives me courage and boldness to serve him by sharing his truth with today’s youth. I pray others join me in this effort and look beyond their own problems and see that there is work to be done. I thank God for this appointment and praise him for his faithfulness. 

May Ricky rest in peace. 

It’s amazing how being honest with God changes everything. A while ago while praying, I asked God to change me. I asked him to make me the person he wants me to be and to take away anything that hinders me from that goal.

And he did.

He’s put me in a place where I have no choice but to depend on him, and there’s no place that I’d rather be. His grace is enough, and I rest in his perfect peace. 

I know there will be struggles ahead, but I’m completely confident that he’s guiding my each and every step. He’s making me more like him and giving me a heart of service. So rather than worry about tomorrow, I choose to live for him today and let tomorrow worry about itself!

Scriptures that helped me get to this place: 

• Ephesians 4:22-24 NLT - ²² throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. ²³Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. ²⁴ Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.
• 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV - ⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
• Isaiah 30:18 ESV -  ¹⁸Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you.
  For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.
• Luke 10:19 NIV - ¹⁹ I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
• Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV -  ⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. ⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”
• Matthew 6:34 NIV - ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God has been teaching how to be loved by Him and how to love Him. Most recently, He’s shown me that love is not merely lip service, it’s an ACTION! The most quoted Bible verse says,

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV)

God’s action was that He loved us so He GAVE.

Jesus is also represented in this verse because he GAVE his life as a sacrifice for us to have freedom in Him.

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36 NIV)

Jesus’ action was that He loved us so He SET US FREE from the bondage of sin.

In return, Jesus wants our love and we must actively love Him by being obedient. He says,

“If you love me, keep my commands. ¹⁶ And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— ¹⁷ the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. ¹⁸ I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. ¹⁹ Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. ²⁰ On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. ²¹ Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14: 15-21 NIV)

In our obedience, He does another thing for us, He gives us His Holy Spirit. For me, the Holy Spirit is the game changer because He lives in us. In this way, He comforts us, He guides us, He helps us, He gives us power, and even teaches us how to love!

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)

God’s love is always coupled with an action, and that’s what He wants from us. If we say we love Him, then we are to be obedient to His commands. We are to spend time with Him by reading His word. We are to build a relationship with Him by speaking to Him in prayer and being silent while in His presence.

Love is an action!

But there’s a second part to this. The same way God shows us His love is how we are to love others. Our greatest commandment is love:

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV)

When we love, we develop characteristics that help us to show that love to others:

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

Let us go forth and actively show our love to God and others. It’s my daily goal and I pray I am doing so.

One love.

I’ve finally realized that I’ve been living with a battery-operated heart. Each time the batteries die, I find myself scrambling to find replacements so my heart will beat again. I’ve decided to be done with this battery-operated heart and to install one that plugs into the source: Jesus. It’s the only way my heart will never fail me.

Jeremiah 17: 5-10(NIV) says:

⁵ This is what the LORD says:

   “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
   who draws strength from mere flesh
   and whose heart turns away from the LORD.
⁶ That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
   they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
   in a salt land where no one lives.

 ⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,
   whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
   that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
   its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
   and never fails to bear fruit.”

 ⁹ The heart is deceitful above all things
   and beyond cure.
   Who can understand it?

 ¹⁰ “I the LORD search the heart
   and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
   according to what their deeds deserve.”